One. Two. Three. Four. Five.   Who is counting? — I am counting. You are always counting. — You have to ask me to stop. You buried me the day after Valentine’s day. — You broke my heart. All is forgiven. — Nothing is forgotten. Why are you still so angry? […]

You used to be the moon and I used to be the sun. We stared at the earth so far away from us — closer to you — reality, mine so far away. How could you hide from me so suddenly? So easily? So stubbornly? When will you unhide from […]


loss, poetry no . Comments

I thought of you again today. Sometimes I skip — forgive me. Remembering only the good has gotten easy. I still get angry for forgetting all the bad. I want all of you. It isn’t you I learned to let go. It is all me. Selfishly me. Do you know […]

When day comes too soon, far away seems the big blue, and the sun is igniting your soul. When night falls too fast, far away seems the milky way, and the moon is a burning hole. When void stagnates, and nothing is visible, and nothing is touching, those days and […]

My grandmother would not approve of the title of my blog post. She has survived almost 94 years (give or take) believing in god and trying to find peace in this world through him. I grew up in a very religious environment that provided only superficial answers to dealing with […]

It has been hard to think about myself turning 34 without thinking you not turning 37 two months later. You were there for at least 20 of my birthdays. Maybe more. And you loved cake and milk.

A Decade Lost

loss no . Comments

It was the year 2000 at my birthday party. For 22 years, I am pretty sure we spent almost every birthday together. And then a decade was lost for nothing. And then you were lost, exactly 2 years ago. I am trying not to get lost in grief. I miss […]

It has been some time since I posted. A lot of life changes the past few months. It takes time for the mind to make sense of change and as one gets older, processing happens slower and more privately than before. Deaths, separations, moves, births, rebirths, misery, sickness, happiness, vacations, […]

Dear Kelly, It has been two months since Dad called to tell me that you were gone. He was very upset you know. He liked taking care of you whenever you were around. Do you still remember that summer he cooked for us gourmet food every day at the beach […]

fierce and wild sweet and gentle wearing grandpa’s baby blues piercing, loving so much bravado ready to pounce hiding your true self such strong, kind spirit worthy of a hundred nicknames amazon warrior princess blond sensation absolut kelly (so true) but really, mostly, unforgettable uncomparable a true original you were […]